Folks have asked for the homilies I was honoured to deliver at the Obsequies of our beloved Lisa. Pay attention to God’s Word … and Lisa’s Words. Bless you all. Repose en Paix, Lisa.
Homily Reflection for Funeral Prayers:
“Let all that you do be done in love”.
Funeral Prayers. Step one in the ancient dance.
We do not invent new steps here. We do not grieve as do those who have no hope. Ours is not the way of sentimental teddy bears and “celebrations of life.” Lisa is not just any creature of the world – Lisa is a child of God. Her life began here in this beautiful earth in which she loved resting and playing – camping in beauty. Nonetheless, as a Child of God, formed in the womb waters of Baptism, hers is a deeper reality a deeper life. Her world is the real world – filled with brothers and sisters in God, echoing with the songs of countless angels, reverberating with the cheers and tears of Saints – it is the Really real world of Life – of Christ Jesus.
For those who see only on the surface, this moment of prayer probably seems only a step in a danse macabre – seeking a place to put our steps threatened by death, grasping at memories because a precious partner in our dance has left the circle. The wife with whom you waltzed Ray, the Mom who taught you the dance dear Stéphan, Jasmine, and Logan, the sister with whom you boogied Michelle and Suzanne and Carmen and Pauline and Diane, the friend in our beloved dance troop – she has stepped out … and the dance will never be quite the same. But no clinging to fleeting memories for us. Because like Lisa, we know the deeper dance of life that flows from the eternal circling dance of the Father, Son, and Spirit that picks Lisa up, that shakes our sadness – the dance that has one pattern, one song, One singing through many voices – the deeper dance of Love.
Of Love.
“Let all that you do be done in love”
So Lisa said, so Lisa lived, so Lisa loved, so Lisa suffered, so Lisa died.
There is a holy pause in the Dance of Love – catching our breath – a pause between the steps of life in God here in the beautiful world that became a shadow as Lisa’s body faded and the joy-filled glory of her resurrected body exulting with us in the great day of Rising.
A Holy pause.
Lisa always knew what to do or say. She is a mother, an organizer, a lover, a believer.
Holy Church knows what do or say – Ray, Stéphan, Jasmine, Logan, brothers and sisters – because She is a mother, an organizer, a lover and a believer. She formed Lisa, Lisa formed us, and so we dance.
“Let all that you do be done in love”
Funeral prayers. Step one in the ancient dance of the Christian People.
A step of loving memory. With a pang of purple sadness. For there is real loss here – to our eyes and hearts it is too soon to only have memories. A sadness that matches the happiness we had in Lisa. But not an angry sad hopeless cadence to the memories.
“The righteous, though they die early, will be at rest. For old age is not honoured for length of time or measured by number of years; but understanding is gray hair for anyone … being perfected in a short time, they fulfilled long years”(Wisdom 4:7-9, 13)
Yes – all of the memories come with the deep delightful light of seeing one perfected in a short time. Perfected is a strange and awful way – the way of suffering. But we must see the perfection the way that Lisa saw it. Not with some grim stoicism. No one with her smile or joie de vivre – was that term coined just for her? – has anything to do with grim. No she saw the way of suffering as the way of … love.
Love always means suffering, n’est-ce pas? Every time truly we say “je t’aime” we say, “ceci est mon corps, livrez pour vous” . this is the Christ way of loving. This was Lisa’s way of loving – opening her heart in friendship and passion to how many? She only is finding out now. Saying “not now” to her self, she said over and over “ceci est mon corps” to you Ray, Stéphan, Jasmin, and Logan, to her family her friends – to Maman dans sa souffrance.
Offering her body became visible in that beautiful body’s emptying.
What can one say in the face of this? What do we say in the face of suffering. We don’t say much most of us – we run away and hide. It troubles us … but with Lisa it was different. Her body screaming at her was part of the Body of Christ on the Cross. And so the pain became and invitation to see in a way that is not humanly possible:
“The peoples saw and did not understand, or take such a thing to heart, that God’s grace and mercy are with his elect, and that he watches over his holy ones”(Wisdom 4:15b)
Remember this, Ray, Stéphan, Jasmine, and Logan – and you too Kody … you were those who did see and did understand – you took this to heart – you returned to her the gift of the love-dance that she taught you. She opened your eyes to “God’s grace and mercy” and you learned the steps of that love dance. Back and forth to Regina, hours at bedside, bundling Lisa up to bring her to camp and laughter, Logan falling asleep with her watching movies whispering “oh je t’aime maman”, Jasmine, holding her in constant attention with shining eyes of love, Stéphan receiving her instructions about how to become a good man and treasuring it all, All of you praying the silent prayer of grace.
All of this in complete continuity with the days whose images of discovery and delight perhaps were clouded by the path of these last months. Because the continuity came from the heart of Lisa who saw it all, lived it all, in the love of Christ:
Listen to her:
“Tears of pain don’t mean less love or lost love. Tears of pain prove a deeper love than humanly possible. The only way to that deeper love is to follow Jesus through the Valley of Tears. Humanity alone cannot access this love. It only exists because He first Loved us.”
Yes, as Jesus says to us, ‘the world does not know you, but I know you and these know that you have sent me.”(Jn 17:25) Lisa knew, she KNEW God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. She knew what humanity alone cannot access – the voice of Jesus singing “the Love with which you have loved me may in them, and I in them.”(Jn 17:26)
We die the to this shadow land in the same way we die to ourselves in love.
Lisa died to herself because the Love of the Father for the Son was in her, Jesus the way of love was in her.
And so, the first step of this ancient dance is of loving memory – of Jesus in Lisa loving us and inviting us.
And for Lisa? No more memories for her – only utter presence of Jesus Loving her.
So dear sister Lisa, let Jesus take you by the hand and fulfil his prayer
“Father, I desire that those also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory, which you have given me …..”(Jn 17:24)
What a dance!
The Funeral Mass.
(Introduction)
The second step in our Ancient Christian walking into the mystery of death. We do not run away from death. We do not fill the loss with sentimental Facebook posts that are ultimately all about us and how we feel. No silly comments like “she is in a better place” that let us off the hook of wrestling with this mystery. Not at all. We Christians welcome those who gather here who are not Christian or have forgotten what it is to be a Christian to join us in walking with Lisa into the mystery of death without fear because there is one name on our lips Jesus and one faith in our hearts – that Jesus is the Christ. Let us Listen to His Holy Word and taste His resurrected flesh.
Homily for Funeral Mass:
Christ is Risen, Alleluia
And because He is risen, he is alive, we can gather to fulfil what our hearts were created to do: worship God. People argue over what it means to be a Christian – the answer is simple – to be Christian is to do what Jesus asked us to do, to gather here at the Eucharist and make it the rhythm of our lives, then to go and announce the Good News to everyone by our words and actions. Lisa knew this. Lisa is a Catholic. Her last act as a believer happens through you Ray, Stéphan, Jasmine and Logan – it is to gather us here to do that which ordered her life – her life which as St. Paul taught us – has been poured out like a libation.
What is a libation? Well, whenever people gathered to celebrate in the time of St. Paul, they would start by pouring out a bit of wine from their cup onto the ground in honour of the gods. St. Paul … Lisa … poured out not just a bit of wine, she poured out her life in worship of God. That is the way of love. Not to get people to fill our cups but to pour out ourselves not on the ground but into the life cups of others in worship of God. Lisa learned that here from her childhood – Ceci est la coupe de mon sang – “ This is the chalice of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant, poured out for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins, do this in memory of me.” She did this. In memory of Jesus. Not to revive a dead memory but because Jesus is Risen to pour out life in the power of the Spirit of God. What joy she took in offering her life to others as Jesus has given his life to her.
That is why we heard the “Good Word” of Suzanne and Carmen before we began these mysteries – because there is really only One good word, One song – that is the Word of life – Jesus. And the deep truth of the life of Lisa is found in the One word of Jesus to which she surrendered – “love one another as I have loved you.” And Jesus taught us this – preached this – through Lisa. Her last act of love is to bring us here, this morning to meet Jesus as she did and to ask ourselves – what word am I speaking with my life? To whom am I pouring out my life? Does my love taste of the Forgiving Blood of this Altar?
Did Lisa do this perfectly? Not always. Sometime she, like we, was stingy in her pouring and sometimes even selfishly demand the energy of others. We Catholics never have funerals for saints – humbly we acknowledge that we are sinners. That is why we pray for her to God, asking that she will say “yes” to drinking this Cup of Life for Eternity. But let me tell you a little secret: I have great confidence in this prayer, because Lisa drank this cup deeply while she was among us here.
“Nice cup”, we might say humanly – these last years she could not eat or even drink properly. A body deprived of collagen is a body that screams in agony at everything that passes through it. No one could ever say, “I feel your pain” to Lisa because if they did, they would writhe on the floor. So, humanly, those who think that the only “good word” – eulogy – of life is what we can see and taste here on earth rush to say of this cup – don’t bother with it. It is too much. And they think that sending in a MAiD – providing MAiD – is the way of compassion. None of that for Lisa – “love one another as I have loved you” – that is the way of Christ … who in utter compassion drank deeply the cup of her suffering and of our suffering and offers the cup to us as life.
How dare I speak of another person’s suffering. I did not daily look into her eyes as did you Ray, Stéphan, Jasmine, and Logan. Am I just talking over all of this to protect myself from the cost of her living so that she can keep loving? Running away from suffering just like those who euthanize?
Here is her voice, speaking better than I can … from a text she sent to my sister as Lisa helped found a prayer group for those living with chronic suffering. By the way – go and find her texts to you … treasure them. They are homilies better than mine.
When the pain overwhelms me and I can’t seem to pray. I just allow myself to rest with the weight of my cross. Not for long but just sit. Then I start to see a tiny sliver that I can drop. (a worry for example) Then I take a deep deep breath and wait for the next sliver to show itself and I remove that one too. Slowly. One by one. Until breathing becomes easier. I do this often. Even more important is to allow the acknowledgment of successes to fill your heart where those slivers were.
Beating cancer is huge! That’s so massive that it may fill more than one sliver gap or scar. Once I see the successes, I fixate on that until joy finds its way into my being. Sometimes my successes are pretty tiny. I don’t have a “I kicked Cancer’s ass” tag. So, it might just be “I washed my face today.” What’s always amazed me is how it works. I find the tiny seed of good and let God do the rest. But it takes energy, patience to get good at it, trust that I’m never alone in finding what slivers and what shines.
Shining slivers. Each one she knew as the sliver from the Cross of Jesus. Shining. Every gift of smile when she wanted to weep. Every gift of weeping when she knew it broke Ray’s heart. Every mustering of energy to pay attention to a visitor when she knew it would mean collapse. There was a deep union between her and Jesus – you could tell because she exuded joy. “Joy finds its way into my being” . Joy.
Someone said to her that they would bring their sufferings in a sack and drag them to the foot of the Cross, she replied that she wrapped her sufferings in shiny packages of different colours with sparklers attached so that Jesus would pay attention. That is Jesus’ way – He wraps himself in all different kind of packages, just take a look around you, and he sparkles in His Word and in this sacrament. He is asking us to pay attention.
And today we do – we pay attention to the slivers of his Cross that shined in the beautiful package of Lisa – and we say Thank you.
Lisa what shall we now do?
You told me a marvellous mystery that still I cannot fathom. I have never seen any eyes shine as yours in a body so utterly spent. For so long you could not eat, but you still would cook bountiful feasts. Loving as Jesus loved means dying, but your dying seemed to last so long – because for you living meant to be able to love others. You told me the mystery:
There was one food that never ever caused you physical pain. You told me. It was Holy Communion. In all the months, only the Body of Lord that we will receive from the Altar never pained you.
“I am not afraid of meeting Jesus,” you said, “I long for him. He has never caused me pain.”
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”(Mt. 11:28)
Rest now , Feast now, for ever, Lisa. Drink deeply forever of the Cup of Love that is pure Joy – With Mary, and all the saints.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Now brothers and sisters, let us go and eat and drink of Jesus on our journey, and go about pouring out his life into others. (Mt. 11:29)